Good morning. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what to do with this new space. It’s all blank and empty and terrifying. After a decade of that instantaneous social media rush, which honestly was making me mentally and physically miserable (just ask my therapist!), starting to think in longer sentences and make space in my life for writing has been a relief, even if the transition is still a little rough. (“Oh, you’re addicted to nonstop cocainemeth? Replace it with this room-temp herbal tea. That you have to grow and harvest yourself. It’s . . . basically the same.” Or maybe exchanging a houseful of hungry tigers for a pet sloth. Or taking off the malfunctioning jetpack that burned all the flesh off your torso and just crawling into bed for a nap. Now I have time for handcrafting all these dumb analogies! Each day is a gift.)

Anyway. On to the serious questions. Is Mercury in retrograde every day or something? Because the people I know who believe in that use that excuse for everything (car problems, relationship woes, genocide) all the time. Also, why do people still think space rocks control their destinies?